The glory of
by jestervalaia
Summary: They say love is blind and it will continue regardless, but that isn't always true. He loved me once, but what we were separated us. Now death has come for me, I can only pray we are given a second chance. Godric/OC.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing. The characters belong to Charlaine Harris, the show to Alan Ball. That being said, the OC is mine.**

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People like to ask why I did it. I don't really know why. I just…did. I think I'd been pushed too far, and he was the last straw. The one that broke the camels back, as they say. I loved him you see, maybe more than I should have done. But he wasn't mine. He was never going to be mine. I think deep down I knew that, but part of me wasn't willing to accept it. Had it been my place, I would've moved the planets and stars to guide him to me. Oh, I most certainly had the power – but it wasn't my place. I wasn't permitted to. Insane that – as the child of a god, you think I'd be able to get away with it…but apparently not. I was Tuatha Dé. I was an unknown in the pantheon of the old Irish gods. Well, for the sake of this story I was Tuatha Dé. I was born in what is now called Ireland, though when I first came to this world it had no name. It was simply a land.

My grandmother is the goddess Danu, my father was Ádhamh - a long forgotten god. He was the master of artistry and the first true bard. He was the first of her children. She loved him like none other, and I was her favourite. She never forgot about me, even in death she came for me. She held me as my heart slowed and I grew cold. Hers was the last face I saw. Blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, elegant…every inch both goddess and fairy. She wasn't fairy though – she was far older than that. She wasn't really Danu either. Danu was just one of her names. Others were the like of Isis, Pachamama, Aphrodite, Ninsun, Toci, Cybele, Gaia and Rhea. The list is endless and hundreds of her names are no longer remembered. She was the first goddess – the mother of all that now lives and breaths. She is the mother of gods and earth. We would be nothing without her. She is without age and near unlimited in her power. So tight is her bond to the energy and magic that holds us together, that it is the greatest of privileges to be counted among her grandchildren.

Though, I suppose this is why people start to question my actions. If my life was so wonderful, then why am I here? If I was so blessed and so loved, then why do I now hold myself as a recluse? If I was so complete and alive, then why on earth did I choose death?

It all returns to the start paragraph. Him. He is the one and only reason I wished to return here rather than remain on earth. He is why I chose to turn away from what I had known and continue down this path. I loved him – but we could never be as we were when his heart still beat strong and true. The vampire – a creature of shadow and night fall. One like that could never be with what I was. A child of the first gods – crafted out of purest magic and born to light a path. The love was unrequited. He'd sent me away often enough to realise that – but it never got through. I still lived in the days before his turning. I would've spent eternity chasing him; I would've given him anything. If only I could hear those words. If only to know the feeling was still returned. I would've given my life to know he loved me as he did once. The night had turned his heart to stone though.

It may seem like nothing to a mortal. After all – the magic in them is far lesser. The sacrifice would not have been so demanding. It wouldn't have hurt quite as much. See – when a god or one of their children exchanges their life for another, it is the earth that suffers. Famine, drought and plague. Failing that, it would physically hurt those tied closest to the earth. The witches would've known – they always do.

I rest now in what the fairies call their Summerland. Some call it the overworld, others heaven. Nirvana is another name I've heard for it. There are hundreds of words for it, most forgotten. I'm still searching for him. I know he's here – I feel him. See, so many of us are connected but duty and position in life do not permit us to follow that connection. Only in death are we truly free of all that. I could have continued to live without him in life, but unlike most I see the connection between the living and the other half of them who have passed on.

This bond – it's blue. The same blue as that which ended his life. The same blue as his eyes. Blue – like the open sky was born under, like the markings that set him apart from his peers and like the cloak I first met him in. He was never supposed to lay eyes on us. We were foolish girls who thought ourselves beyond the reach of mortal men. We weren't paying attention – not until it was too late. The group lay eyes on us and I was stolen away. Whilst they were able to forget – I couldn't. He was small in our eyes, but taller than the others with him. He was strong and his eyes burned with both passion and wisdom. A leader – I think that's what I saw in him. He was as close to perfect as mortals would ever be.

He wasn't mortal though. Not completely. See, he had fairy in him. Only a small amount – but enough to draw those predators in. It was enough for them to walk in the light for a few hours before they burned and left him alone in the world. I should've kept him safe. I shouldn't have let him go to battle that day – I should've kept him in my bed. Maybe then he wouldn't have ended up in Rome. Maybe then they wouldn't have found him and destroyed him. We could've been happy and we still could be. See – here, no-one ages, no-one is sick, all are returned to the state they were in at their prime. We have no vampires, the only weres and shifters we have were born that way. Gods walk among us and we are accepted.

I'll find him again though. I gave my life to find him. I never did get his name. His child uttered it once. Godric I believe it was. I shall have to thank that Viking if he ever ends up here. If he ends up here that is. He's hardly white as snow and it's not as if he's done much to atone for the blood he has shed. She's here though – the one he seeks. The pretty blonde thing he's been chasing isn't for him. He'll learn that given time though.


End file.
